Thursday, 30 September 2010

The Barbel Society

My Next Blog

Will be from fresh pastures.

In the meantime

Half Season offer

A Great Opportunity for all Barbel Anglers!

The Barbel Society which is now in its fifteenth year, is pleased to announce a special half season offer on membership and also on fishery permit rates to new and existing members.

From 1st October, membership will cost £15, and will run until June 2011. This includes the joining fee.

Fishery permits are all offered at half price from 1st October until 14th March 2011.

The Barbel Society fisheries include Sutton on the Trent ( £20), Topcliffe on the Swale (£18), Bransford on the Teme (£25), Wick on the Warwickshire Avon (£15) and Downton on the Hampshire Avon (£10).
This offer enables barbel anglers to take advantage of the range of benefits that membership provides, including access to BS fisheries, high quality magazines and newsletters, access to the BS website and forum, and the opportunity to support the research and conservation work of the Society, plus the chance to meet up with many keen barbel anglers from all over the country.
More details on the Barbel Society website at

Membership will allow participation in the upcoming research and conservation online auction, and use of the Question and Answer facility on the website, where a panel of leading barbel anglers can answer your questions individually.
The Society is especially keen to recruit the large number of newcomers to barbel fishing, on joining they will meet many other like minded anglers in a very friendly environment.
Payment can be made for membership and fishery permits by cheque, made out to The Barbel Society and sent to:
The Membership Secretary. 1 Larchwood, Castlegate, Scotforth, Lancaster LA1 4QG

Wednesday, 29 September 2010


Another blank!

Another 5 hours on my new bit of the tidal yesterday, still not got it right.
Swim selection comes into it I think?
But hey, who cares I'm out and it was a cracking day for the birds.
The problem was, that just 20yards down from me an old boy who arrived before me, was also  blanking up until 4:30, but about 2 hours or so into the run off,  he got his first barbel, he said a 9lber. Within the next two hours he has 3 more including an 11 and then he packed up.
Jump in there he said,to which I said no thanks,I've had enough.Had one more chuck and packed up at 6:45.
Fishing I have to say has turned into a day to be out for me, catching whilst nice, and a bit pissing off when the bloke next door latches onto more than one good fish, it doesn't trouble be too much to blank.
One thing for sure I'm going to beat this water, after all I gave up easy fishing for this.
Maybe tomorrow?
Good to see some rain, the Upper Witham, Idle and the Louth canal(River Ludd) roach are calling.


The Divorced Barbie Doll
One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday.He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person,
'How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?'
The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir?
We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for $19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95'.

The amazed father asks: 'It's what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?'

The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers: 'Sir..., Divorced Barbie comes with:
Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and a key chain made with Ken's balls.

Sunday, 26 September 2010

28 men and one woman in boats

Blenheim Place Lake 25/09/10

The radio alarm went of at 2:30am, just shortly after I had woken from an early night to bed.
So I was off on the road to Woodstock within 20minutes flask filled with boiling water for packet soups.The weather said, bright, with some cloud and cold north westerly winds.
Three stress free driving hours later I am  at the entrance to the palace,awaiting the arrival of 28 fellow members for our annual Fish-in to the lake.
I was the first too arrive,not unusual as I don't like being late, or people who are late.
The first to arrive were Steve and Wendy Spiller, followed closely by Neil Maidment.
The rest were waiting at the main gate in the town.
We eventually all met and made our way to the boats with our pre-chosen shipmate for the day.In my case Simon (k/a Peter Crabtree)
11 hours later, with some blanking, some getting one or two old warrior tench and bream and some small roach and perch.
Some knackered, especially Simon, after rowing back across the lake with his "half ton" stone anchor weight still dragging!!
I don't think there were any weights declared,after all it wasn't the purpose to make a match of the day, just a get together from those of us who meet across this internet world.
Some of the hardy had in fact arrived the night before and were under canvass on probably the coldest night since winter,when I arrived at sixish it was 5.5c!
Anyway, most of us met at the campsite's bar in the evening had a few pints and a chat.
I left them to it for the comfort of a warm bed at the close by Travelodge, no doubt I shall hear of their efforts to drink themselves into something resembling a coma, to get through the cold night under canvas.
Thanks lads and lass, good to meet you all again see some of you next month at Clattercote, for the Aces v's Chavs match.

Oh yes, anybody recommend a "thermos flask" my boiling water was luke warm after just the 3 hour drive!!

How's your diet Fred?

Going well thanks, but probably need to cut down on the fish!!

Wednesday, 22 September 2010


Tidal Trent Day two

Decided to have another go at yesterdays fishery and fished for 5hours.
Sat on the outside of a big bend, channel 3/4 across.
Yesterday in the straight with deep water under the tip.
Left before dusk things to do.
8 anglers there, all of whom struggled some left early.
At 5pm just as I was packing up a barbel of 6lb landed.
Only a perch for me which was taken on the way in by a jack, which let go without damage to the perch.
I'll be back to fish the straight next week.
This weekend fishing from a boat.

Tuesday, 21 September 2010


Tidal Trent again

Another stretch today, up stream from the last one but still downstream from Sutton.

Very similar to Sutton,but opposite bank, with tricky rocky flood relief banks, no sheer drops here though.

Arrived late for the full tide as it had been running for about an hour. Never the less it was a smashing day for sun bathing.
Unfortunately the Trent is still very low and clear and appears not tobe condusive to daylight fishing. Night fishing is not permitted.
As I had rushed out and had emptied my bag of, I thought, everything not needed for a bit of a hike. My only bait was pellets,lobworms and spam.

No bites for the first three hours or so, and various bait size changes.
Settled for one rod fishing pellet and one fishing worm.
Had a good take on the worm shortly after recasting it in for the upteenth time, and hooked into a good fish which I had on long enough to scramble down the stony bank after pulling it up off the bottom. Net at the ready, but I lost contact with the fish. Broken hook length!
Once again a failure to check the hooklength for wear on every cast, it does need doing too.
That was that, until the one more cast time arrived. I hooked and landed a good size bream, which I unhooked in the edge without the use of a net.
I like this fishery and its closer to home than Sutton, so another visit is on the cards very soon.

Saturday, 18 September 2010

40 years ago today

Early on September 18, 1970, Jimi Hendrix died in London.

Right, respect over for the moment, back to the ladies

He said to me.........

He said to me. . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
I said to him . . . They already have boyfriends.

He said..What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
I said. . . A widow.

last one.....

He said to me.... Why are married women heavier than single women?
I said to him .. . .. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

Friday, 17 September 2010


Tidal Trent

Visited a new fishery for me late afternoon and caught the evening tide perfectly.
Dumped a bucket of a fine mixture of Vitalin &pellets as the river stood, and waited and waited and watched big brown rats picking up the bits down below.
 Also watched the white horses galloping over the river surface on a strong upstream wind.

Decided the ten foot straight down bank with the sludgy bottom wasn't the place to try and land fish in the light, let alone dark, so headed home after 21/2 hours either side of the tide.

The tide takes the water out quick this far up river from Hull, so I think further down country, to concentrate on Sutton may be the answer.
Certainly safer and no rats!

He said to me

3. He said to me. ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?

    I said to him . ..... Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

4. He said to me. ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay?
    I said to him ... . They don't have time.

Tuesday, 14 September 2010

Couldn't wait to post this

The Indian With One Testicle

There once was an Indian who had only one testicle
and whose given name was 'Onestone'.
 He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.
After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,
' If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!'
The word got around and nobody called him that any more.
Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said,
 'Good morning, Onestone.'
He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night.
He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.

Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away.
Yellow Bird, who wasBlue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone.
She hugged him and said,
'Good to see you, Onestone.'
Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!

Why ???

OH, come on... take a guess !!!

Think about it !!!

You're going to love this !!!

Everyone knows...

You can't kill Two Birds with OneStone!!!

A series for the ladies?

1.  He said to me. ... . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.

I said to him .... . . You wear pants don't you?

2. He said to me......Shall we try swapping positions tonight?

I said .. That's a good idea - you stand by the stove & sink while I sit on the sofa and fart

Sunday, 12 September 2010

Red Letter day

A bit about fishing

I was reminded today, following an exchange of PM correspondence on Fishing Magic of a memorable, probably best short session I have ever had.

My day had been taken up by a meeting with the rest of the Barbel Society committee in Worcester.
My Log note dated 17th August 2008 states;
A tough meeting at Callow End.
 I remember it well, Callow End was a retreat run by nuns, we rented a room for meetings.
We damaged the peace and tranquility for a short while that day!
My tackle was in the car to fish the Severn, but we needed to get away from the place.

On the way home I dropped in on the middle Trent arriving at about 7:30pm, the river was up and running clear and it was warm and cloudy, a bit showery. The water temperature 18.6c.
It was the evening after the full moon and air pressure during  the short session was about 1014 hph and rising.
I keep a note of air pressure and moon phases, but have never put them to any scientific use, well not yet!
I decided to fish the big chunk of meat down the inside rather than pellets and set myself up with my Young's Barbel Travel rod, my  Purist ll, 12lb Krystonite straight through to a size 4 barbless weight.
My method for the big meat is to cast out into the current and let my quarter a tin of garlic spam drift round to fish the inside line, about 15/ 20 feet down stream.

Daft grin!!

15 minutes later my first barbel 10lb 11 ozs, still my pb.
I then proceeded to to hook and land 4 more barbel of 9lb 4ozs, 8lb 1oz, 9lb 2ozs and a 9lb fish the last two caught on my last quarter halved.
Left well and truly chuffed at 11:30pm for my hour journey home singing all the way.
So, four hours and 41lb2ozs of barbel all of which were caught in the first 90 minutes.

I have to say the 5 piece travel rod action is superb, and matched up with my centre pin it was my first attempt at catching barbel with the aid of the rod and a 'pin.
Certainly a red letter day for me, although a long day, having left home for Worcester at 6am.

Tuesday, 7 September 2010


My Mum

17 at the time, one of fourteen kids, she was in London at the time, as were all those of the family not called up to fight.
They were in the Edgware Road, so West Enders.
Only 4 of them left now although they all survived the trials and tribulations of the war, apart from a couple of her sisters who died as a result of TB infection.
She has spoken, as have the family over the years, of her experiences of diving down and sleeping down the tube, and walking through the wreckage of the West End to get to work.
Different times and a different set of people, it's been bred out of today's youngsters I'm sure, but " The Spirit" lives on in the few remaining who experienced those times
Very rarely do we see her two remaining sisters and brother, although one sister celebrates her 90th this month and a trip is planned, if  can get the ol'girl out of the house!

My dad ? 19 at the time,the eldest of two kids,from the Elephant & Castle. He was sunning himself in Egypt,Libya, Mesopotamia(Iraq) and Persia (Iran) prospecting for oil and guarding the installations. Not a shot fired in anger as I understand!

Back with a joke

A cabbie picks up a Nun.
She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.
She asks him why he is staring.
He replies: 'I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you.'
She answers: 'My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.'
'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.'
She responds: 'Well, let's see what we can do about that:
1. you have to be single
2. you must be Catholic.'
The cab driver is very excited and says,
'Yes, I'm single and Catholic!'
'OK' the nun says. 'Pull into the next alley.'
The nun fulfils his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.
But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
'My dear child,' says the nun, 'why are you crying?'
'Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish.'
The nun says, 'That's OK.

My name is Kevin and I'm going to a fancy dress party.'

Sunday, 5 September 2010

First Sunday in September

It's times like today when I wish I had a better/faster camera!!

16:00 Sunday 5th September 2010 the annual parade and Lancaster fly past over the village to remember the the 101 Squadron crews that died flying out of RAF Ludford Magna during WWII.

"This memorial is dedicated to the aircrews of 101 Squadron Bomber Command who failed to return from operational sorties in the Second World War.
From 1943 - 1945 the Squadron was based at Ludford Magna where they made many friends. A Roll of Honour is kept in the village church."

"101 Squadron was the key contributing squadron in the Nuremburg Raid on 30 Mar 1944, supplying 26 of the total 795 bombers. However it was also to suffer the most losses, loosing 7 Lancaster. The ABC specialisation meant that 101 Squadron crews were often called on to support other Groups' raids. 101 Squadron's specialist Electronic Warfare role meant that it concluded the war with the highest casualty rate of any of the flying squadrons."
Thanks and RIP.