The Banking Crisis simply explained...
Young Paddy bought a donkey from a farmer for £100.
The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day...
The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The donkey's died.'
Paddy replied, 'Well then just give me my money back.'
The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I've already spent it.'
Paddy said, 'OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'
The farmer asked, 'What are you going to do with him?'
Paddy said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'
The farmer said, 'You can't raffle a dead donkey!'
Paddy said, 'Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'
A month later, the farmer met up with Paddy and asked,
'What happened with that dead donkey?'
Paddy said, 'I raffled him off.
I sold 500 tickets at two pounds a piece and made a profit of £898'
The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'
Paddy said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two pounds back.'
Paddy now works for the Royal Bank of Scotland .
Friday, 26 November 2010
Wednesday, 24 November 2010
Fishing
Contemplation
Yesterday morning up at 7 with a cup of tea , trying to coax myself into going for a trip down to the Trent.
9 am I got the call from Mick about Denise, although she had been unwell for some years now, it was still a big shock.
Started me off on the memory trail of friends, a lot of them far to young to be dying, and many of them in the last 7 or 8 years, co-incidence or not, since my early retirement.So most of them about my age.
I purposely aimed at retiring, mainly because I had enough of earning the commercial property big buck for some other bugger. Always been a doer rather than a creator I suppose.
Anyway, this is enabled us to do lots of world travelling that many don't get the opportunity to do, and not worry about where the next penny comes from.
In other words, we do what we want when we want.
So to those that read what I have to say on this Blog, take heed, go and do what you really want to do while you can, you never know what may be around that next corner.
Oh yes Fishing!
10am still deep in my thoughts "what time you coming home from fishing" says The Boss.
"I don't even know what time I'm going or, where I'm going" say I, "anyway my hemp seed may still be frozen in the garage. It's a bit bright"
Looking for excuses not to go?
I made up my mind, a fling at the Trent to see if I can get a barbel out in November. Thermals on, big coat to hand, Kelly Kettle and makings in the boot.
Off I go 11am.
Half hour later on the Lincoln ring road still don't know what to do, go for the tidal at Sutton or South Clifton, or go and poach Hazelford, just for the crack, or settle for Lady Pit.
Close approaching Newark make your mind up time, "sod it Lady Pit" then I say to myself "what if the slope up is sopping wet, is the road good enough, will I be able to get out of the place".
I know the Octavia is not the best at handling slippery slopes, I remember when I first got the motor, frightening the life out of Hugh Middleton as I attempted to get the motor back up the flood bank at Sutton.
He was, I'm sure expecting me to slide down into him and then the river!!
Mind made up, still Lady Pit.
4pm, four hours all alone with my thoughts, not a bite to show for the hard work of making my mind up, although a little maudlin, pleased that I did make my mind up to venture to the riverside.
Now the slippery slope....a bit of slippy slidey but up we go, "dodge the potholes, don't want another hole in the sump", and arrive at the gate, now closed after being open all day to let the big trucks in, to pick their load of sugar beet.
"Sod it what's the combination number, where's my card"
Just over the hour later, home to faggotts, mash and peas.
Must go and empty the car, at least the hemp seed will still be frozen, hope my lob worms aren't!!
Winter Fuel Allowance
Filled up the heating oil tank last week, checked out the bank account this morning to see if the transfer to the account had occurred, it had, and also a £250 credit today from the DWP, thank you.
I forgot all about that.
Joke for today
An American tourist asks an Irishman
"Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
To which the Irishman replies
"If they fell forwards, they'd still be in the bloody boat ."
My latest visitor
From Taiwan, I just wonder what could be interesting to an ol' China.
I don't think it's my Blog or, anybody else's who count the numbers visiting theirs ;o)
Yesterday morning up at 7 with a cup of tea , trying to coax myself into going for a trip down to the Trent.
9 am I got the call from Mick about Denise, although she had been unwell for some years now, it was still a big shock.
Started me off on the memory trail of friends, a lot of them far to young to be dying, and many of them in the last 7 or 8 years, co-incidence or not, since my early retirement.So most of them about my age.
I purposely aimed at retiring, mainly because I had enough of earning the commercial property big buck for some other bugger. Always been a doer rather than a creator I suppose.
Anyway, this is enabled us to do lots of world travelling that many don't get the opportunity to do, and not worry about where the next penny comes from.
In other words, we do what we want when we want.
So to those that read what I have to say on this Blog, take heed, go and do what you really want to do while you can, you never know what may be around that next corner.
Oh yes Fishing!
10am still deep in my thoughts "what time you coming home from fishing" says The Boss.
"I don't even know what time I'm going or, where I'm going" say I, "anyway my hemp seed may still be frozen in the garage. It's a bit bright"
Looking for excuses not to go?
I made up my mind, a fling at the Trent to see if I can get a barbel out in November. Thermals on, big coat to hand, Kelly Kettle and makings in the boot.
Off I go 11am.
Half hour later on the Lincoln ring road still don't know what to do, go for the tidal at Sutton or South Clifton, or go and poach Hazelford, just for the crack, or settle for Lady Pit.
Close approaching Newark make your mind up time, "sod it Lady Pit" then I say to myself "what if the slope up is sopping wet, is the road good enough, will I be able to get out of the place".
I know the Octavia is not the best at handling slippery slopes, I remember when I first got the motor, frightening the life out of Hugh Middleton as I attempted to get the motor back up the flood bank at Sutton.
He was, I'm sure expecting me to slide down into him and then the river!!
Mind made up, still Lady Pit.
4pm, four hours all alone with my thoughts, not a bite to show for the hard work of making my mind up, although a little maudlin, pleased that I did make my mind up to venture to the riverside.
Now the slippery slope....a bit of slippy slidey but up we go, "dodge the potholes, don't want another hole in the sump", and arrive at the gate, now closed after being open all day to let the big trucks in, to pick their load of sugar beet.
"Sod it what's the combination number, where's my card"
Just over the hour later, home to faggotts, mash and peas.
Must go and empty the car, at least the hemp seed will still be frozen, hope my lob worms aren't!!
Winter Fuel Allowance
Filled up the heating oil tank last week, checked out the bank account this morning to see if the transfer to the account had occurred, it had, and also a £250 credit today from the DWP, thank you.
I forgot all about that.
Joke for today
An American tourist asks an Irishman
"Why do Scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"
To which the Irishman replies
"If they fell forwards, they'd still be in the bloody boat ."
My latest visitor
From Taiwan, I just wonder what could be interesting to an ol' China.
I don't think it's my Blog or, anybody else's who count the numbers visiting theirs ;o)
Tuesday, 23 November 2010
Rest in Peace
Denise Huckle February 1949 - 23/11/2010
I've just heard, another friend of over 25years from our Castlethorpe,Bucks days passed to a better place this morning at 2am.
The 3rd of our pub darts team friends from that village to die at a young age.
She and husband Mick moved up fairly close to us within a year of our move to Lincolnshire.
Denise, just a month older than me, was a career teacher, finishing with early retirement through illness, must be about 10 years ago.
Our love and thoughts go out to Mick, their son and daughter Simon & Samantha and their 2 grand daughters.
RIP Denise
I've just heard, another friend of over 25years from our Castlethorpe,Bucks days passed to a better place this morning at 2am.
The 3rd of our pub darts team friends from that village to die at a young age.
She and husband Mick moved up fairly close to us within a year of our move to Lincolnshire.
Denise, just a month older than me, was a career teacher, finishing with early retirement through illness, must be about 10 years ago.
Our love and thoughts go out to Mick, their son and daughter Simon & Samantha and their 2 grand daughters.
RIP DeniseMonday, 22 November 2010
Really?
A Snood clip!
Accused
I don't watch a great deal of television but just watched the Accused which as a story line was brilliant and well written.
BUT, I think at the very end production let itself down.
If a soldier whilst serving on military duty murders a fellow soldier, isn't that an offence under military jurisdiction, surely not for trial in a civilian court?
It ended up in civilian court, and that doesn't seem right to me.
Am I wrong?
Joke
A woman walks into the Liverpool benefits office, trailed by 15 kids...
'WOW,' the social worker exclaims, 'Are they ALL yours?
'Yeah they are all mine,' the flustered mother sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before.
She says, 'Sit down Terry.' All the children rush to find seats.
'Well,' says the social worker, 'then you must be here to sign up. I'll need all your children's names.'
'This one's my oldest - he is Terry.'
'OK, and who's next?'
'Well, this one he is Terry, also.'
The social worker raises an eyebrow but continues.
One by one, through the oldest four, all boys, all named Terry.
Then she is introduced to the eldest girl, named Terri.
'All right,' says the caseworker. 'I'm seeing a pattern here. Are they ALL named Terri?'
Their Mother replied, 'Well, yes-it makes it easier. When it is time to get them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, 'Terry!' an' when it's time for dinner, I just yell 'Terry!' an' they all come runnin.
' An' if I need to stop the kid who's running into the street, I just yell 'Terry' and all of them stop. It's the smartest idea I ever had, namin' them all Terry.'
The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively,
'But what if you just want ONE kid to come, and not the whole bunch?'
'I call them by their surnames!'
Accused
I don't watch a great deal of television but just watched the Accused which as a story line was brilliant and well written.
BUT, I think at the very end production let itself down.
If a soldier whilst serving on military duty murders a fellow soldier, isn't that an offence under military jurisdiction, surely not for trial in a civilian court?
It ended up in civilian court, and that doesn't seem right to me.
Am I wrong?
Joke
A woman walks into the Liverpool benefits office, trailed by 15 kids...
'WOW,' the social worker exclaims, 'Are they ALL yours?
'Yeah they are all mine,' the flustered mother sighs, having heard that question a thousand times before.
She says, 'Sit down Terry.' All the children rush to find seats.
'Well,' says the social worker, 'then you must be here to sign up. I'll need all your children's names.'
'This one's my oldest - he is Terry.'
'OK, and who's next?'
'Well, this one he is Terry, also.'
The social worker raises an eyebrow but continues.
One by one, through the oldest four, all boys, all named Terry.
Then she is introduced to the eldest girl, named Terri.
'All right,' says the caseworker. 'I'm seeing a pattern here. Are they ALL named Terri?'
Their Mother replied, 'Well, yes-it makes it easier. When it is time to get them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, 'Terry!' an' when it's time for dinner, I just yell 'Terry!' an' they all come runnin.
' An' if I need to stop the kid who's running into the street, I just yell 'Terry' and all of them stop. It's the smartest idea I ever had, namin' them all Terry.'
The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively,
'But what if you just want ONE kid to come, and not the whole bunch?'
'I call them by their surnames!'
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)