Sat

Bacon tree

My apologies if this offends Mexicans, those of the Jewish faith, and Muslims, come to that, anybody but narrow minded Yorkshiremen and
STOP PRESS!!
The lying ex Trolly Dolly, with the rumoured name change(maybe it was a sex change and not other tendancies).
Is also easily offended, apparently.




Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the USA, wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says.........

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk."
"Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. "
With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon ... Every imaginable kind of cured pork.
"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree."
"Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don't forget."
"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree."
And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath,

"Pepe... Go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"

"Luis, Luis mi amigo... What ees it? "

"Pepe.. Ees not a bacon tree.
Ees

Ees

Ees

Ees a ham bush....."








Meanwhile

Keep talking amongst yourselves lads, you're winning !

Fishing

Report
Fished the River Swale at Topcliffe for the first time yesterday on a  Bradford City Angling stretch.
One or two anglers somewhere downstream on our bank, but the opposite bank(Leeds), was packed all the way along,there must have been 20 anglers!
I met with fellow BS member Bryce Henderson, and fished from about noon 'til 9pm.
Bryce had a splasher barbel within 5 minutes of me joining him, about 2lb.
I thought sounds like it may be a good day, it was not to be fishing wise!
I had a couple of chub knocks, other than that, not a thing.
Bryce tried a fast water swim and got himself a couple of chub, but other than that no further fish.
There was no sign of fish being caught on the Leeds side either.
Great company, lovely river, I shall visit again soon.


Prudes?

I've had two complaints about the jokes I put on here, funnily enough both from the same little clan of individuals. Like must attract like, I think, in fact I know!!!
I would feel sorry for them but hey ho, it takes all sorts.
I'm not changing for them, I will not be censored, although you would think they may have learnt that by now.
I thought Yorkshire men were straight talkers, it would seem they have something to learn from us Essex boys.
My guess is, the last one, poor easily lead Conrad, will be laughed at by the Google people!!!

I'm back!

Just back
Another visit to my ol' mum!
This follows a 'phone call from her regarding her ailments!!

She's alright.

Reel deal

Great result on the eBay auction. Actions speak louder than words.


Blog Chat
My apologies to those who have no idea what I'm writing about, those who know or think they know WILL be reading this, so it's for them.

I see the few are still chattering amongst themselves, and some are only listening to part of the story, this is the half truths thing I mentioned.
The snidey sneeky rat is playing whilst the cat's away though, spreading his lying version.Rumour has it there's a name change involved, as well as other doubts about his leanings and integrity!!
The lies, sabotage, selected editing, and leaks carried out have been "overlooked"
The old trust thing comes in heavy, I'm afraid.
It's a sorry state of affairs when personal prejudices interfere with everybody else's enjoyment and friendships.



How about a laugh?

In a pub quiz the other day I lost by one point. The question was "where do women mostly have curly hair"? Apparently, it's Africa .



Charlie, a recently hired retiree, working  at B&Q, came in 5 to15 minutes late every morning, but he was among the best of B&Q older persons.
His boss called him into his office and said: Charlie, I have to tell you, I like your work ethic, but you are late all the time.
Yes, I know boss, and I am working on it. Charlie replied.
Well good, you are a team player. I know you're retired from the Navy. What did they say when you came in late there?

They said Good morning, Admiral, can I get you a cup of Coffee, sir?



The other day I needed to go to and see the Doctor. Not wanting to sit there for 4 hours, I put on my old Army fatigues and stuck a patch onto the front of my shirt that I had downloaded off the Internet.
When I went in, I noticed that 3/4 of the people got up and left. I guess they decided that they weren't that sick after all. Cut at least 3 hours off my waiting time.

Here's the patch. Feel free to use it the next time you're in need of quicker emergency service.


It also works at DSS. It saved me 5 hours.
At the Laundry, three minutes after entering, I had my choice of any machine, most still running.

Don't try it at McDonald's though.....
The whole crew got up and left and l never got my order...

Getting back to the real world.

Not long to go

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?
ViewItem&item=150468701152&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT



Our Domain

When I first started this Blog back in May, I told you about my garden, well last Friday the field got mowed. The cow parsley and nettles are now spread about the field, flat! So before long the smell of rotting vegetation will take over I'm sure. No sign yet of the barn owls, but I know the kestrel had six young.
A local farmer, just over the field puts up boxes for owls, kestrels,sparrow hawks and just about anything else that flies around here.
We spotted our first red kite in this area, over the field not too long ago, being mobbed by the local crows.
It's been a very bad year I think for young birds, only one or two survivors from broods in and around the garden.Well apart from the sparra's, they have done very well, a day doesn't seem to go by without another set of pleading youngsters loitering around our pond and feeders.
I was watching earlier a single robin fledgling being fed by it's red breasted parent, cracking little birds.
All our green finches have disappeared, I hope they are not all dead, but my suspicions are that they are. This disease they get from unclean feeders has taken it's toll again and they were doing so well.Bodies all around.
Veggies
I'm not impressed with the salad garden this year, far too dry I suppose. On the positive side our courgettes are becoming a problem to keep up with. Any good recipes out there????
I should  have a good supply of chilli peppers also.
Our fruit trees are not up to last years standard, especially the plum, maybe I'll get 4 or five, last year I couldn't get rid of them.
The pear has failed , but the apples are looking ok. The soft fruits..failed, well I got enough gooseberries, just about got the flavour!
Spud's are still looking good, although the container grown ones are in permanent need of water. I'll leave them in a bit longer as my diet forbids their consumption!
Itchy things
Not certain if you all suffer with bugs and flies this time of the year?
They are of the small beetle type, hoards of them,I daren't go out in the garden in my orange tee-shirt, thunder bugs we call them,I can't be bothered to identify them.
And those tiny flies that seem to get into every nook and cranny, even between the glass of picture frames. Still the hooligan  swifts, the house martin and swallows seem to be happy enough.
My head can't take much more scratching though! Even thinking about them now, is making me itch.

Oh well, enough for now, things to do tomorrow and the next few days, so my next entry and update will probably be mid-week.
Who knows what may happen in that time?
See you then maybe?


Carpe diem quam minime credula postero